Some therapists believe that the pathway to secure attachment lies in healing of our dysregulated nervous systems. This is the realm of Polyvagal theory. It makes sense to me intellectually. However, engaging in the co-regulating practices through a computer screen this evening leaves me feeling worse than when I began the workshop.

Maybe it was the process of trying to ‘co-regulate’ with someone else through a brightly lit and the virtual nature of a computer screen that left me feeling bad, or maybe the workshop released some of the underlying dysregulation into my awareness. Something has me feeling so strange this evening.

I am also wondering if the reason my ex-virtual-connection pushed me further into the territory of insecure attachment was because of the fact that I was allowing myself to be co-regulated by something akin to gambling through a computer screen.

Tonight’s exercises have hit me with a big knot in the stomach. My job is to practice co-regulation in person with someone who is secure.

And so my journey begins.