Have you ever considered the way that social media (or any form of social interaction) on the interweb impacts your real-world social life? I Googled ‘social media is making us antisocial’ (or a near variant) when I got home tonight. Something awful is happening to me and to my brain lately. And I think it might be due to all this time I have spent engaging with people on the Internet, through these WordPress sites and social media.

It is definitely a thing. There are scores of essays written about this on the Internet. I am certainly not the first person to notice this. And to be honest, reading all the stories scares the hell out of me because more and more 18 – 20-year-olds are developing social anxiety and don’t want to socialise face to face. But what happens when we humans stop engaging in face-to-face social behaviour, and live our lives behind screens on the Internet? I would say that it is just a hop step and a jump from dissolving the social bonds between us that have allowed us to do so well as a species.

The psychological and physiological processes behind social media addiction

Something that I found the articles I read lacked, was a discussion of the psychological, or physiological processes that lead to this kind of antisocial behaviour. From what I have learned about what the Internet does to our mind, it causes our brains to release little squirts of dopamine, every time we get a like, or a notification, or maybe even when we uncover some useful or interesting piece of information that enlightens us further. That is certainly what it is like for me. I get so much JOY from researching on the Internet, from uncovering treasure chests filled with information I would be clueless about otherwise.

And the dopamine hits. Along with all the serotonin, perhaps, and that whole cocktail of neurochemicals that can bring tears to my eyes sometimes, when I hear a song that makes me think of how one of my readers makes me feel. It is full-on! It is intensely delicious. And then when I go out to dinner with friends, everything feels inexplicably wrong. I see that my brain has completely changed. And not in a good way. Not at all.

The real-life anti-climax

Real life just doesn’t measure up to communication relationships on the interweb. And that is definitely not okay with me. Not least, because I don’t like the person that I AM becoming after engaging with these sites in such an unrestricted manner. And especially because I for one see these friendships as pathways to real-life conversations. At this moment, I think that it is possible that my readers have no intention of ever making it real. Of ever meeting up, or talking face to face. If that is the case, I would really appreciate it if you could let me know. It is hard to think of how you could communicate this to me. But I really need to know. Perhaps if you do see this as a pathway to meeting up in person you could hit on the home page of this site within the next 24-48 hours.

I am not saying I will go away if you don’t want to meet up. But it is only fair that I am engaging with you with the same intention in mind. I feel it is the least you could do for how much energy I give you!

Action stations

In any case, back to the matter at hand, which is this absolutely terrible societal shift towards technology and away from human face-to-face relationships. It is absolutely insidious. And I am with numerous writers I have read on this topic. I feel there needs to be a pathway for moderation. I am not willing to give up this baby connection with any of my readers, AND I am not willing to let the neurochemical outcomes of these connections trash my capacity to enjoy real-life human face-to-face relationships.

So, what is the answer? Well, I am stewing on it. But I think maybe I need to set some limits on my Internet and blog use. It might also mean having some periods without any internet use at all (except for listening to music), in order to reset the reward centres of my brain.

Specifically, I am thinking maybe:

• spending two (or three) hours in total across these WordPress sites per day
• tuning out (of the internet completely??) for one period from 11 p.m. to 3 p.m. once a week – this would probably be a Saturday night
• spending one to two hours a day practising music
• spending no more than four to five hours per day working on the web for my job

It is really hard because it would be so nice to just write and write and write and engage and engage all day every day. That is what FEELS GOOD. And that is what I want to do. (It is so much fun, and FU%^ this sucks!!) But the antisocial thing is a deal breaker for me, and so, IF it is this new hobby of spending hours, pouring my soul into the internet, (or whether it was the cognitive strain of practising music last night, or just something random like perimenopause), I need to get to the bottom of what is causing it.

Thanks for listening as always, and thanks for your company. I appreciate it a lot. 🙂

Also, please don’t forget to answer my question. Thank you!!

Image credit:

“how children use the internet” by Breakfast for Dinner is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.