the pain. . . my goodness. . . I guess that is what tells me how deeply I held Astro in my heart. . . He can say that I thought he was straight. . . I didn’t really see him as a lover, or someone who I bonded with sexually. I just loved him as a human being, I suppose.

Maybe it felt like a working arrangement, something that we did for some other purpose, not for love. But now that I have to say goodbye to him, the pain makes me realise that I did LOVE him. (If it is possible to LOVE a friend). . . or to feel their loss so acutely.