We’ve come this far. I may as well talk about my mental illness: what I perceive to be happening inside of me.

When I first noticed it happening, I thought that it was Astro who was ‘living’ inside me and said as much to him at the time. He wrote a funny song about it later. Heh. (Or so I understood). I also believe that if it turns out that Astro does not win this dance battle, he will turn away from me completely, just be ice cold with me, and forget me completely. He said as much in his song.

Of course, you SEE, everyone will say that I am cray. Astro isn’t ‘talking’ to me, and I am just mentally unwell. I am making all this up, or perceiving things that aren’t there. So, that feels like the consequence for my deep and enduring love for this man. If I don’t ‘work it out’ with him, then everyone can just say, , , I was making it up. And I will feel like I didn’t know my own mind. That I was MAKING it up.