My current therapist (who I have named Aitkens to protect their identity) has sent me a link to an article about IFS (Internal Family Systems) on the APS website.
It is certainly interesting to read about this model. And there is some evidence supporting it. (The article references three studies – and I am wondering how many participants were part of those studies – which will take another level of investigation). For now, I wish to simply explore my own thoughts about IFS from a human being who has had years of therapy (mostly ACT).
Thoughts?
I feel uncomfortable about this SEPARATION of different parts or roles within myself. . . I don’t intuitively feel like I am a composite whole of different pieces. I feel like a WHOLE person. My thoughts and feelings flow THROUGH me, , ,
I also don’t feel like the traumatic impacts on my thoughts, feelings and behaviours, come from different ‘personalities??’ or ‘parts’ of me. . . They also exert their influence on my entire being and have diffused their toxic effect from throughout me, , , (or that is who I am).
One thing I am not sure about is this kind of orchestra, with a conductor. . . I feel like I have NO CONTROL over my thoughts, feelings, , , and sometimes my actions. Although I have a mind, and it is OBSERVING these particularities, I don’t sense that I have a conductor inside of me who directs different responses to certain triggers, or , , , tells me how to feel, think or behave.
Feelings?
It feels to me like, while this kind of therapy MIGHT work for other people, or people with PTSD, and Aitkens is correct, there is some evidence for the fact. 92 % of the participants in a study (Hodgdon, 2021) showed significantly reduced responses to PTSD scales (I am not sure of the technical parts of these SCALES). However, the ABSTRACT does not say how many participants were in the study, or give us any sense of whether the study is credible (for want of a better word).
I am not saying that IFS is a BAD therapy. It may work for people with PTSD. However, for me, I feel uncomfortable with this idea of slicing and dicing my BEING into these different sections. When I read the questions in this section:
Playing a ‘part’: Exiles, Managers and Firefighters
The IFS model provides an elegantly simple yet nuanced process to allow our ‘feelings’ to be noticed inside us as ‘parts’. But what are parts? Essentially, they are our feelings, thoughts, bodily sensations and cumulative life experiences which exist as independent, living, breathing entities inside us and which are developed through ongoing communication and the fostering of an internal relationship. Think of the movie Inside Out where Riley’s parts are like little people inside of her, each with their own feelings and desires cheering her on or making her recoil back in fear. Riley’s internal family of parts is made up of Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust, and each of these feelings is represented by a little character inside her. You might be able to name some of your own parts, which IFS groups as Exiles, Managers and Firefighters.
For example, have you ever felt so vulnerable or young in the face of life’s challenges that you have been thrown into crippling inaction or a devastatingly low mood? (‘I am feeling sad, ashamed, anxious or frightened.’) This is what IFS refers to as having Exiles or vulnerable parts. Exiles are often represented in our internal system as a vulnerable version of our younger self (a little boy or girl or sometimes even a baby) and the name fits because the memories, feelings or sensations are so painful that we tend to try and bury, minimise or deny them. We put them into an internal exile.
Similarly, have you ever heard different voices in your imagination propelling you to manage various behaviours to make sure you avoid a range of painful thoughts or feelings? (‘I must make sure I’m not late or else I’ll feel embarrassed, sad, ashamed, anxious or frightened.’) This is what the IFS model refers to as having Managers – and they represent one aspect of our protective system. Managers are often represented in our internal system as powerful entities (warriors or CEOs, for example) and the name fits because their job is to manage/control the system to ensure difficult feelings do not arise in the first instance.
But if the Manager is overwhelmed and ultimately unable to stop these painful thoughts or feelings from arising, have you ever then responded to them in ways designed to reduce or eliminate them? (‘If I eat that tub of ice-cream or drink that bottle of alcohol I will temporarily alleviate my feelings of shame, anxiety or fear.’) This is what the IFS model refers to as having Firefighters, and they are the other aspect of our protective system. Again, the name fits because having bypassed the watchful eye of the Manager and somehow been allowed to start in the first place, the job of the Firefighter is to douse these painful flames of the difficult emotions and put them out.
I did not get the sense that they RELATED to my experience of the world. The questions did not resonate with me. And for that reason, while I do want to continue working with Aitkens (if they are willing), and my TRAUMA, particularly the trauma that is a result of sexual assault, I do not wish to engage (strictly) with the model of Internal Family Systems or IFS.
Positive reflections on our work so far
I do get a sense that people have a CRITICAL voice inside their head, and that is what I thought the Manager or the Protector’s role is. I don’t have a critical voice in my head, but to be honest, probably because I am ((mostly)) tranquilised from medication, I don’t have a whole lot of thoughts or voices in my head GENERALLY. . .
When I was talking to Aitkens about this really DIFFICULT thought I struggle with regarding my ‘friend’ Turtle and his next (or current girlfriend), AND this AWFUL sense of my own body that I have. . . It made SENSE to me, to attribute these thoughts to some part of me that wanted to protect me. . . That made a LOT of sense to me.
I think that is what our minds try to do. They are always on the lookout for danger, and things that may physically, socially, emotionally or (??) ((whatever )) ways that the world can harm us. . . They want to KEEP US SAFE. . . That is what they have evolved over millions of years to do.
So, perhaps this protective sense that my mind creates in terms of the pain of turtles’ supposed infidelity, is just my mind’s way of alerting me to the danger of just how dangerous that could be for a mouse like me.
Body image
Maybe the BODY IMAGE thing is the same. . . Maybe I have SO MUCH pain around this because my mind knows that men can be very judgmental in that way. . . It knows that a potential partner will LIKELY reject me, because I am so incredibly UGLY. . . The ugliness is a FACT as far as I know. . . My mind wants to protect me. It does not want me to take off my clothes WITH ANYONE, because it knows, , , that whoever, I do that with, , is mostly likely to reject me. And my mind doesn’t want me to get hurt.
Just like all my therapists and psychologists and even psychiatrists in my past. They are in MY corner. .. My mind is in my corner too. . . It just wants to be HEARD. . . And I am listening.
Image credit:
APS website – https://psychology.org.au/event/24084?view=true
Leave A Comment