I am upset.

I AM UPSET…

Things transpired to bring me to my local park. There were a lot of families there, and despite the awkwardness of me today, it was nice to sit there in the sun with everyone around.

I was chatting with one mum. She wanted to make a daisy chain crown, and I showed her how we used to do this, but the flowers weren’t the right variety and they kept breaking no matter what she did.

Her son spoke with me actually. He really wanted to make a point. And I loved that moment for that.

I feel weird. I am not sure how to interact with neighbourhood children any more. . .

In any case, the fathers at the park were very cool and one of them reminded me of the person I think Turtle is.

It hurst so mch. It brings tears to my eyes.

And he wont’ SAY antying, , , he wont’ confirm or deny the fact that he has a fanilyn and a wife. . . but it hurts me, , , because he might be doing this for laught, sor just to use me for companionship and enternatin,ent, , , but my heart is in it. I am the one talking. . . and it HURTS. . .