Christmas holidays are positioned as a happy time of year when everyone is supposed to be cheerful and enjoying family time. Perhaps the reason why this tradition is so enduring is that it has so much commercial significance. Christmas certainly stimulates the economy, so the story of giving and family is perpetuated year after year. The script doesn’t say anything about all the Christmas stress that these rituals entail.

This is not the full story, as you well know. For so many people Christmas is not a nice time of year at all. For those who have lost their families and are grieving or those who suffer in the company of their family, Christmas can be a lonely and depressing time of year.

Opportunities for growth

No matter what your situation though, I think that Christmas provides an opportunity to grow stronger, to learn more about yourself and hopefully to become more resilient. If you are spending time with family, it can bring up or into awareness all sorts of old patterns of behaviour or relationships. If you are open and conscious of observing the patterns, I think you can learn a lot about what influenced your development as a person.

Becoming aware of the factors that influence your psychology in the present can bring you one step closer to repairing your wounds, taking action and rewiring your brain so that these factors no longer hold you back.

The important thing to note is that while you always have the opportunity to grow and to learn from observing what patterns of behaviour may have shaped you as a human individual, it is always your responsibility to make changes.

It isn’t helpful and won’t achieve anything by ‘blaming’ the people who treated you in those ways or helped to shape your adult behaviours. It will not solve the problem and it will not help you to grow. Ultimately, I think it is up to you to take responsibility for making changes, even if these things were done ‘to’ you.

The good news is that change is definitely possible. You always have the opportunity to grow in a direction that is more fitting with the person you want to be. Always.

Mindfulness training in action

The work that you have done working on becoming more mindful this year can help you to stay balanced and not let family members aggravate you at Christmas time. It can help you to manage Christmas stress. The more you are able to ‘observe’ your feelings and thoughts in response to tricky family members, the more that you can let these thoughts and feelings wash over you and pass you by. The less they will bother you.

Mindfulness is important at every time of year, but especially at Christmas time when the pressure is on, for so many people. We all face our individual challenges with our families, but we can also learn strategies to learn from our family dynamics and get through Christmas calmly and contentedly. Beat the Christmas stress in effect.

Hope that no matter what you are doing this Christmas, that you enjoy your holiday and get the chance for some relaxation. If you need any support during this time, please call Lifeline on
13 11 14 in Australia.