Do you ever have one of those crappy days when things go pear-shaped for whatever reason, and you are left in psychological pain? We all have those kinds of days sometimes. It is a part of being human.

The uncomfortable feelings are a result of our ‘threat’ system being activated. It is the reptilian part of our brain, and responsible for ‘fight or flight‘ responses, with all those delightful neurochemicals that make us feel so uncomfortable.

The good news is that there is a way of shifting our beings out of the ‘threat’ system and into the ‘attachment’ or mammalian system. The mammalian system allows us to produce pain-reducing neurochemicals, such as oxytocin, which is a beautiful antidote to the cortisol which makes us feel so crappy, once our threat system has been activated.

What causes the ‘threat’ system to be activated?

It doesn’t take a lion or a fright to activate our threat system. Social trauma can result in the threat system being activated, due to the deep evolutionary need to belong to a tribe.

And the beautiful trick to shifting from a ‘threat’ system to an ‘attachment’ system are some simple exercises in self-compassion.

1. Reach out to touch a pet – spending time cuddling or patting an animal result in oxytocin being released, which can counteract the awful effects of adrenaline and cortisol. If you don’t have a dog or a cat, don’t despair. The same thing can be achieved by giving yourself soothing touch. Put your hand over your heart while you are doing a self-compassion meditation to feel the warmth of your hand. It really works.
2. Find warmth – if you can take a warm shower, hop under a blanket, turn the heater on for a little while, or sit in the sun, it will help to bring your body and mind back into an attachment system, bypassing the threat system and help you feel better again.
3. Soothing sounds – music that you find soothing will also really help to bring your body and mind back into balance and relieve the discomfort of the cortisol and other fight-or-flight chemicals in your body when this happens to you.

Doing these three things will help you overcome the hurdle of a crappy day. You are not alone. This is how people feel when they are threatened or psychologically harmed in this way. One of the best things you can do is to listen to a soothing self-compassion meditation. It is absolutely amazing how soothing it can be!

Search for a self-compassion break meditation, or view some by one of the founders of the Mindful Self Compassion – Kristin Neff. https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/ – they really help!

Image credit

“Main sur le coeur — Hand on heart” by Gilles Gonthier is licensed under CC BY 2.0.