Where are you at with your self-development journey? Lately, I have been voraciously consuming all the information I can find on various topics that are relevant to my particular personal concerns. Last night that led to reading about ‘overstimulation’ and the plight of the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

It was an absolute revelation. Have you ever had the experience of struggling with a particular issue for as long as you can remember? And then finding articles that not only describe what you have been experiencing but ALSO give you an explanation for it? It can be very emotional. It did almost bring some tears to my eyes. I am not some kind of freak. I am simply a Highly Sensitive Person! There are quite a lot of us! Apparently, 20 % of the population is HSP.

Social anxiety, but only in group situations?

The current issue of interest to me is social life in a group setting. I was puzzled about the fact that when I am talking to someone one on one (or a couple of people), I can engage and focus and enjoy. But often times when I am in a group situation, I get overwhelmed, and can often retreat into my shell and just observe or say very little. It feels passive. I feel like a non-entity.

This led me to research something I have been reading in Rewire your Brain by John B. Arden. He suggested that the left frontal lobe is responsible for language. If we are feeling depressed, one of the first things we should try to do is activate our left frontal lobe. It also alerted me to that kind of ‘passive state of mind’ that is the domain of the right frontal lobe. My research was trying to find out how to activate the left frontal lobe, especially in a group social setting.

Overstimulation and the Highly Sensitive Person

One article in this search talked about people who are fine one on one, but struggle in a group setting and suggested that the reason this is so, is because they get overstimulated. . . BOOM! This small piece of information was an explanation for everything that I have felt for years. It means that the reason why I shut down when there is too much going on socially, is because my brain is letting in too much sensory information and it gets overwhelmed and therefore shuts down. That is why I can’t talk in those situations and struggle sometimes.

I think that this new avenue of research will uncover ways of treating this disorder. However, it also sounds like it is just the way that my brain is wired. There are some things that can help though! Reading about the condition made me realise that I do some of these things already:

1. Unplug

Often, when I am out in the world, I will unplug from my device and consciously just be mindful about my environment. I do this quite often on the train or waiting for a train. I get the sense that it is all too much, and so I lift my eyes and soak up the environment through my senses. It does work.

2. Create space

When I am planning my weekend, I am always careful not to pack TOO much into it. My max is one social event during the day and one in the evening, but even sometimes that can be too much. I usually just try to have one social event each weekend day or evening. I didn’t realise but this conscious creation of space for downtime between quite stimulating and overwhelming events can be crucial. Being a Highly Sensitive Person, we function better if we give ourselves enough time to rest and recover.

3. Mindfulness practice

Mindfulness, always mindfulness! Is there anything it can’t do?! In this case, it does have the capacity to reset our brains and to get our awareness into our bodies. It can be really helpful if you are feeling overstimulated to move into a state of mind that is much less overwhelmed.

4. Be kind to yourself

This is a big one. For so long I have BEATEN MYSELF UP for the fact that I find groups difficult. ‘What is WRONG with me?’ I would ask. The fact is that it is just overwhelming for my brain and I am quite sensitive. More than 20 % of people are like this. Some of us don’t even know what the cause of the problem is, and so we continue to beat ourselves up or find solutions to the problem of group socialising or other sensory overload.

5. Take lots of breaks, or carve out space in social situations

If you are a Highly Sensitive Person and you find group socialising challenging at times, you might be aware of the fact that sometimes if you can break away from the group for a few moments, for a moment of alone time, either in the bathroom or somewhere quiet, this can refresh and rejuvenate you, and improve your resilience and capacity to cope with the stimulation.

6. Don’t rely on alcohol, but a social drink or two can help

I also find that a couple of drinks can help a lot. I know I shouldn’t say this because I know some people rely on alcohol to socialise, and that is not such a great habit to get into. Lately, I have a tendency to not drink at all until I am actually out with friends. That way, the table becomes progressively more jovial together, as the night goes on, and it can be a beautiful thing to witness. People become warmer, more open and more jovial. I love that experience around a table.

7. Make your home your sanctuary

I think is so important to have a sanctuary where you can go to recharge. It makes me realise why I gather so much strength from my time at home, listening to beautiful music, with dimmed lights, and lots of plants. It is heaven for a Highly Sensitive Person.

It also makes me realise why I love housework so much. There is something so calming about making your space so clean, content and beautiful. I also think the fact that I am an HSP explains why I find television ‘too much’ a lot of the time.

Lots more strategies

I know there will be lots more strategies that I haven’t even uncovered yet. Over to you! Where are you on the HSP spectrum? Are you extroverted and thrive on the energy of group settings, or are you more introverted and need to recharge your batteries after social activity? Maybe you have some strategies of your own? Would you like to share? Please do so in the comments!