I feel so sad. I feel like I want to cry all day.

it is going to sound weird perhaps but what if we are connected?

 

a few months ago I wrote a lovely comment on Astro’s page about his t-shirts.

it is hard to admit, but I didn’t feel confident enough to leave the comment on his page. The one underneath mine seemed so much more in keeping with their community. Who wants some kind of straight white fag hag on their page (to be more harsh than I originally thought, but that is pretty much the crux of the matter).

I feel so sad because one of the people I had planned to gift a shirt DIED (very prematurely) and the other one pushed the marketing of his business so i would have to suck it up to give him a t-shirt. It is definitely weird between us now (and should it be?) maybe.

any other people? Yes all the dads I know. I can gift those. But it was special with my commissioner because I could have talked about Astro’s music in his community outside this crazy story I make up.

 

it would have been nice to normalise it.

And now he is gone and I am without a way to do anything else.

 

the birds are singing sweetly. Maybe I will see him again.

and as for Astro. Never again will oh we’ll never say never, but.