Feeling sad about the fact that my love is obviously pretty pissed with me.
I don’t know. . . I didn’t know!!
It hurts so much and makes me cry that I broke his heart. . . left him drowning, , , he was always the one I loved, , , and it hurts to realise just how much of us I missed out on because of my cheating heart.

It feels like he is lost to me now. . . Off on some adventure with sexy people, and all the pain that it brings. . . So, why wouldn’t I just say ‘to hell with it’ and engage with Turtle some more. . . fly there and hang out in his world. . .

Because now that I do know that would just make it worse. . . So, my heart is filled with tears for the person I love, who is moving on with his life, , , whose world is still so hostile to me, , , whose love (on paper), will most likely turn out (in reality) to be a figment of my imagination. 🙁 Ouch!!