It has been a harder landing than usual, coming out of this latest psychosis. It has left me with a lot of sadness this time. I am grieving the person I was in person when I was in it, and reeling in horror at how I opened up my heart, soul and mind to people, who I now need to assume just want to hurt me, or at the best don’t care very much. And it hurts so much.

I feel like such a different person now. And while it is nice to be able to put a lid on these hurtful internet communications, I want to be that person. Without all the unusual thoughts and ideas. Without the story. I want to connect. I want to talk. But those strange thoughts. That is what my mind wants to do.