Social media leaves me feeling so conflicted sometimes. The strange mixture of people telling you how you should feel about yourself, friendships, relationships, work and life in little consumable quotes, videos or poems; combined with videos of people screaming at you about ways they want your money, and sometimes a funny joke, or maybe 1 or 2 posts from friends in one doom scrolling session.

It really is a very unnerving physical experience for a human being. I feel nauseous from the different media and moving images and sounds, empowered from all the people telling me that I deserve to be treated well, sad from seeing friends who aren’t really friends anymore, and overstimulated from the screaming and the selling. It is a horrible mess of different emotions that are all jumbled up into different pressure points on my soul.

Tonight I feel like I am a receptacle for a whole heap of noise, and that I am being told what to think about so many different aspects of my life.

It is not cool. There is a reason why I take to it in small doses.