How are you going? It is an important question to ask during this very unusual and challenging time of the coronavirus pandemic and all the quarantine conditions that we are all subject to at the moment. It is a curious phenomenon actually, because it is a global event, and so we are all alike in our isolation at the moment. Time will tell if it brings us closer together, or pushes us further apart.

This time of isolation is obviously different for different demographics of people, and our household structure is particularly important to the way that the COVID-19 isolation conditions affects us. For people who live in a family unit of parents and kid(s), the pressure can be felt in the relentless parenting that is required, while often working at home themselves. As one celebrity stated, ‘it is not natural to look after kids 24/7.’ And, if parents were feeling like they never got a break, or there was no space in their lives before COVID, they must be feeling like their worlds have become even smaller with the quarantine.

For single person households, the opposite is true. We might be struggling with loneliness and isolation during the pandemic, and it might be impacting our health. My experience during this time is that I am learning a lot more about myself, due to the isolation. Perhaps because of the lack of distraction, or lack of human contact, layers of my psychology are being peeled back to reveal interesting parts of myself that I was not aware of, until now. And not all of it is good! I do wonder if other singles are finding this as well, and if they are finding out more about themselves during this time as well.

As for couples in isolation, the evidence suggests that there will be a significant increase in the divorce rate or break ups when this is all over. It is a lot to ask, to spend so much time with an intimate, without dipping in and out of each other’s lives as would normally happen when living together. Alternatively, there might be a coronavirus baby boom! What else is there to do in isolation?

Whatever your situation, it is a challenging time for all of us. Here in Australia, the restrictions are due to continue for another four weeks, so we are probably half way through. It is obviously doable, but I am hopeful that it won’t have too much of a lasting negative impact on our mental health. I think that one of the most important things we can do for ourselves right now is practice self-compassion. You might be facing some difficult feelings or insights about the structure of your world, or in fact your own psychology, but you too deserve love and compassion.

If you are not sure about how to be compassionate to yourself, perhaps you could try soothing touch (such as placing your hand over your heart), warmth (such as bed covers) and soothing sounds (such as music), as a way to reactivate the attachment system of your brain, and move out from your threat system.

I also think that mindfulness meditation is super important right now, to help us weather the storms of uncomfortable feelings, thoughts and relational pain right now.

When the attachment part of your brain (the frontal cortex) is activated, you will feel calm, relaxed and content, and this is the perfect way to approach the challenges of the coronavirus quarantine.

All the best! 🙂

Image credits:

“Overcoming loneliness and isolation: 7 counselling tips” from Thriveworks